Robot Terrorist Bird Found in Afghanistan

Afghan police said they are investigating how a wild bird came to bear an antenna, electronic devices and explosives. Police came across the strange sight around 8 a.m. in the northern Faryab province, a volatile region ravaged by Taliban violence. When police spotted the white bird –which isn’t native to the area and appeared larger than an eagle for those of you keeping track of those things — walking along a highway, they noticed it had an antenna and decided to shoot it. The bird then exploded, he said, and “suspicious metal stuff” scattered around.

“We are gathering all the stuff, but found parts of what looks to be GPS and a small camera,” a local police spokesperson said. He added that this was the first time police have made such an encounter. Police added that it is possible the bird had been “deployed” on a surveillance mission or suicide mission.

A couple of key takeaways.

First of course, is that everyone in Afghanistan is insane, and left alone they will simply kill each other, using rocks and sticks if nothing else (say mutant chickens or training ninja cats) is handy. At this point we probably should let them go for it. Next, the Afghan police have got it going on; whenever they see something strange, say a white bird with an antenna, their go-to move is to just shoot the damn thing. Third, if you find yourself in Afghanistan and decide to shoot at some weird thing, assume it will be filled with suspicious metal stuff and explode. Fourth, best to know EXACTLY what size and color local birds are in your area.

Alternate Theory: this is the very first step in the Rise of the Machines.