Teen High on Cocaine and MDMA Steals an Ambulance and Masturbates in a Police Station

Stefan Sortland, 18, of Fort Collins, Colorado, has been charged with aggravated vehicle theft, obstructing EMS, reckless driving, hit-and-run, criminal mischief, attempted motor vehicle theft, unlawful possession of a controlled substance, and assault after he stole an ambulance and masturbated in a police station while high on cocaine and MDMA.

On Sunday morning, EMS workers were treating an intoxicated student for seizures on the CSU campus. When they returned to their ambulance, it was gone.

Authorities were able to track the location of the ambulance through the onboard GPS system. When they found the vehicle, in Loveland, Colorado, the doors were all open and it had suffered severe front-end damage.

According to an officer, Sortland hit a median which caused him to jump the curb, ran over a sign, drove the wrong way on the street, and crossed over the median again before abandoning the vehicle.

When police found Sortland, he was 30 yards from the scene. He was wearing an EMT’s vest and was wrapped in a blanket. He was holding a cellphone and a box of Wheat Thins. Without hesitation, officers shot him with a stun gun after he refused to cooperate.

The fun didn’t end there. When they returned to the police station, Sortland jumped up on a bench, kicked the wall, and began to masturbate.

During questioning, Sortland claimed that his “friends/roommates were dead, in heaven and had committed suicide.”

As he was being escorted to the jail, he apologized to the officers for his actions. Shortly after, he assaulted two deputies who were bringing him his meal for the day. One deputy suffered a concussion and facial swelling, while the other a sprained finger and an abrasion.

On Monday, Sortland’s bond was set at $15,000 and he expected in court on Nov. 7.