Woman “Self-Pleasures" Fail with Deer Tongue

A woman from Little Rock, Arkansas, recovered after doctors removed a deer tongue, shown above, that she had inserted into her own vag!na.

The woman eventually admitted to the doc that her husband was a hunter. He recently brought home a deer and dressed it in their garage. She saw the tongue, admired its length, and snuck off with it to use as a masturbatory aid. She told the startled gynecologist that she did not remember leaving it up there.

Kudos to the doctor for sleuthing this one out. The woman first went in to her gynecologist complaining of a “very bad odor” in her private parts. Her doctor performed a quick visual exam, found nothing but a wicked smell, and ordered a pap smear.

He was shocked when the pap smear results came back: the cells gathered Were. Not Human.

The doctor then realized he needed to perform a much more thorough physical inspection, and removed a large piece of decaying flesh from deep inside his patient.

“During the exam, I was utterly shocked with what I had found. Never in my 33 years of practice have I seen anything like this,” the doc told the American Journal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology. “What I removed from the woman, looked like a long tongue, but certainly not a human tongue. Then, what she admitted after the exam about the deer, was even more disturbing.”

The doctor went on to report his case to the The Journal of Human Sexuality.